Sometimes we separate ourselves into parts
So that when we are alone in the dark there is always someone to blame
But we must learn the act of integration to work together
To catalyse our growth and honour our shame
Learn to appreciate Miss Procrastination's complexity
For you need her temerarious side
Don't fight her for she is your ally
It is her passionate pain that will be your perpetual guide
Having lived with being a procrastinator since adolescence, on a daily basis I feel overwhelmed by it's power and my complete inability to take hold of the beast and tame it. It's a battle that rages on in my head, everyday, that no matter how much I know I need to move myself forwards somehow, that I'm just...stuck.
It's like being on a Ferris Wheel, watching all your hopes, dreams and opportunities whizzing past you, repeatedly, as you sit there, unable to get off and feeling nauseas and anxious.
Today I read a great book called 'Procrastination: Why You Do It, and What To Do About It Now' by Burka & Yuen, which talks about how procrastination looking and feeling like ambivalence. Those moments where you're so conflicted with two (or more) opposing choices. This books talks about how one of the roots of procrastination is fear - whether it's of failure, success, or relationship intimacy (closeness/separation).
Think about it like this ~
❤️Wanting to lose weight and eat nutritionally dense food but not making the time to exercise and instead using emotional eating of quick energy foods to alleviate the momentary discomfort of not having followed through with your good intentions.
❤️Wanting to change jobs/career but putting off completing the application form and necessary tasks to make it happen.
❤️Knowing that you need to plan and breakdown an assignment in manageable chunks but instead leaving it to the last minute, knowing that the hand-in date is looming closer and forcing yourself to work under pressure.
❤️Missing friends and feeling lonely but not reaching out because you don't want to be a hinderance to them.
❤️You've had enough of one-sided phone calls and people not being interested in how you are, but yet you find yourself stuck in another conversation where you are simply there to 'mmm' and 'ahh' in all the right places for what feels like hours on end.
We know from neuroscience that the brain has plasticity, which means that it is always changing.
You may have characteristics and parts you identify with that are holding you back but they can be changed.